Why I Can't Follow You on Twitter

1. Your picture is the Twitter egg. If you can't even be bothered (or are so technically inept) that you haven't posted a picture, I can't be bother to follow you. 
2. You are almost or are actually naked in your avatar.
3. You have not posted anything. This is a give & take relationship.
4. You have less than 10 followers. I know this is not a popularity poll (okay, it is for some people), so I will make the exception if you are a) new to Twitter, b) my friend or c) or my mother.
5. Your avatar is a cartoon character. Grow up.
6. Your tweets are angry/use mostly predictive text or SMS-language/don't make sense/all of the aforementioned.
   
7. You swear a lot, unnecessarily in your feed/profile. It's just not smart.
   
8. Your picture has not been downscaled so it's warped. (See point 1. Once again, I will make an exception if you are my mother.)
9. Your picture has been so professionally shot you look like an ad for yourself and this is just one big PR mission.
10. You have nothing to say. See point 3. Oh, and while I'm into food & post about food I think is worth sharing with fellow foodies, I do not find "I am hungry" or "Eating lunch" valid posts.
11. You overuse exclamation marks. Okay, I get it, you're a funny guy!!!!!
12. Your entire page is filled with the same, repeated personal marketing spam.
13. You don't have a bio. 
14. Your bio is so full you haven't use punctuation or spaces.because.you.are.so.interesting <3
15. Your bio is unoriginal and there are spelling mistakes. For example, "Lover of caffiene,chocolat and life !!!"
16. Your feed is one long chat with your friends. For the love of Jack Dorsey (creator of Twitter), pick up the phone.